All Men Do It
by Via Jade
Summary: Anna goes to bring Kristoff the supplies he couldn't buy in Oaken's store...but she hears a mysterious noise coming from the shed. When she investigates, she gets a lot more than she bargained for. (This story pretty much consists of Anna being adorably innocent and Kristoff being a horny teenage boy.) One-shot. Anna x Kristoff smut, but nothing too hardcore.
Author's Note: A single word in bold indicates a new section. isn't letting me keep my line breaks :( sorry for any confusion! **
**

 **Anna** walked cautiously down the path towards the ramshackle barn where she had seen the blond stranger and his reindeer head for the night. She held a large bag of carrots and a coil of rope from Oaken's store in her hand. She'd overheard the man's attempt at buying these items in the shop, and he'd happened to mentioned that his name was Kristoff and that he was buying the carrots for his reindeer. Maybe she could bribe the two of them into taking her up the North Mountain. It was worth a shot, anyway - she'd come to the frustrating realization that she would need some help to find her sister, and they seemed like promising guides. An ice cutter would probably know his way around the mountain, after all.

As she approached the rickety shed, she noticed two things. First off, the reindeer wasn't inside the barn like she'd expected he would be - he was tied up just outside it. Secondly, she could hear a strange sound coming from the shelter - a sort of ' _fap fap fap'_ , not unlike the sound of a bird's flapping wings. Curious, she decided it was her duty to investigate. She paused at the door of the shed to listen for a moment before entering. A thought came to her - perhaps the stranger could sing sweetly enough to attract birds and other woodland creatures! He might have a tough exterior, but maybe underneath it all he was just as sweet as any princess. Surely Elsa wasn't the only one with special powers in the whole kingdom.

Anna took a deep breath and opened the door. None of her innocent thoughts could have prepared her for what she saw inside.

Kristoff was there, all right...but no happy little birds were flying around the shed. Anna gasped in horror and looked away from the scene inside the shed as quickly as possible. Kristoff was lying on a pile of loose hay...with his trousers pulled down and his hand wrapped around a long, pink _thing_ emerging from where his private parts should be. The movement of his hand up and down the strange projection was creating the _fap_ - _fap-fap_ sound. And that wasn't the only sound that met Anna's ears - now she could hear the blond boy's moans and pants as he drove himself into an even more heightened state of excitement. His body arched and he let out a deep, guttural groan...

Suddenly, a jet of cream-colored liquid shot up into the air, splattering Anna's dress as it fell. One warm drop landed on her pale neck and slid down the front of her dress. She shuddered as the slippery beads of liquid touched her breasts. Anna stood still in shock for a moment, then gathered her courage and burst out with the words, "I- I demand to know what's going on in here!" It came out a little louder than she expected and she jumped at her own voice.

Kristoff's head whipped around to face her, the sleepy expression on his face clearing instantly. His eyes widened in shock. "Wait, what? Shop girl? How did you get in here? _Why_ did you get in here?"

Anna blushed and stammered out, "I was _trying_ to bring you the supplies you couldn't afford, you selfish idiot!" She suddenly became aware of the coiled rope still in her hand and tossed it down on the floor. This time it was Kristoff's turn to jump. With a slightly guilty look on his face, he reached out for the supplies, tucking them in his satchel.

"Isn't there something _else_ you should be putting away?" she said, averting her gaze from the spectacle before her.

"Oh - sorry." He reached down and stuffed the _thing_ in his pants, a barely discernable blush rising over his cheeks. The tiniest stammer entered his voice as he began to fully realize the situation he'd been caught in. "I - er - I'm - that is, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

An awkward silence grew, filling the small shed within seconds.

Finally Anna couldn't keep her mouth shut any longer. As disturbing as this whole encounter was, she had come here for a reason. "Um...I - I know I should be - going...but….I actually had a question for you…"

"And what would that be?"

"Well...I'm trying to find my sister, Elsa, I think she's on the North Mountain, and I need a guide."

Kristoff frowned. "I'm exactly not a sherpa or a rental donkey, you know. I've got my own things to do. I'm busy."

"Uh-huh. Busy doing what exactly? The activity I just stumbled in on?"

He struggled to keep his voice even as he said, "That and other things. Be-besides, what you just witnessed is perfectly natural. All men do it."

His statement was a little unsettling, but Anna wasn't to be distracted from her goal; she still wanted to find her sister. And yet...her curiosity was steadily getting the better of her. "Well...I'm sure you'll come around to helping me find Elsa. It's a matter of life and death - and it could really help your ice business. But we can come back to that later." She hesitated before choosing her next words. "For right now...well, I know this is a terrible question to ask, and it's completely inappropriate, and I'm so sorry for intruding on your privacy. But I just, um, really want to know what... _that_ was."

She pointed at his crotch, blushing a fiery red.

His eyes popped again as he tried to keep from laughing. "Is this a joke?"

She shook her head, biting her lip in embarrassment.

He grinned. "Wow. I didn't know true innocence still existed in this world. Color me surprised." He paused. "Wait, you really didn't know that there's an...uh...a difference between girls and boys?"

She shook her head. "Why should there be?"

"How sheltered _are_ you?"

Anna pondered that for a moment. "Well...I grew up in a castle, my parents died when I was young, my sister hasn't spoken to me in years, and the castle gates were just opened today for the first time since my parents' death."

He sighed, not without a touch of pity in his voice. "So you're as naive as they come, Princess Prude."

"My _name_ is Anna," she said indignantly, secretly wondering what kind of a name 'Prude' was. She wanted to retort that she wasn't naive, either, but as much as she hated to admit it, Kristoff was right. She had been sheltered and coddled all her life.

"All right. I'll spell it out for you." Kristoff thought it over for a moment. "Girls have - well - you know. Girl parts. Boys have boy parts. Simple as that." He coughed a little and resettled himself in the hay.

"You call that an explanation?" She placed her hand on her hip and jutted it out a little, furrowing her brow in frustration. "Show me."

"WHAT?" This time he nearly choked.

"Show me the difference."

 **Anna** sat on the hay next to Kristoff, her mind spinning. She'd just seen one of the strangest sights in her life. And she'd learned some new words, too; that long pink thing had a few different names, not to mention the round objects beneath it. She had the strange sense that she should be feeling guilty about her new knowledge - and about seeing the mysteries between a man's legs - but really, why feel shame in learning new things? It wasn't as if people's bodies were anything to be frightened of. Anna smiled and laced her fingers behind her head. Leaning back into the hay, she decided that she was a very open-minded person.

All of a sudden Kristoff was on top of her.

"Get off! What are you doing? Pig!" She shoved his chest, rolling him off of her. Although she was angry, she suddenly became aware of the fact that her heart was pounding, her cheeks were flushed, and - strangest of all - she could feel a steady drumbeat between her legs. She'd never felt like this before - confused and excited all at once.

"Kristoff?" she asked timidly.

"Yes?" The rejected boy's tone was gruff and emotionless, and he was looking steadily towards the wall of the derelict shed, avoiding her inquisitive gaze.

A thought had struck her. "Are you...trying to learn about me?" Maybe he didn't know what a girl looked like! Maybe he was just as inexperienced as she was!

"I don't know what you're talking about, Princess."

"My name is Anna," she fired back, then took a deep breath, trying to keep herself from getting worked up again. "What I mean is...have you ever seen a girl? Naked?"

He coughed nervously. "Of course. Hundreds of times."

"Oh." They were silent for a moment.

His voice broke the still winter air. "No. Not really. I've never seen a girl naked, ok? Get over it already." He rolled onto his side, facing away from Anna; she swore she could hear a slight crack in his voice as he spoke. She grabbed his shoulder and rolled him over to face her again.

"Hey, it's ok. I saw you...you should get to see me. It's only fair." Although her voice sounded brave, her heart was pounding as she drew her skirt over her legs and back towards her waist. She carefully pulled her petticoat down, exposing…

"Damn. That's hot."

 **"So** that's what a girl looks like," Kristoff murmured, laying on his stomach and running his fingers over Anna's trembling body. His jaw was supported by one hand as he leaned on his elbow, and his blond hair kept falling into his eyes; he'd lazily blow it out of the way with pursed lips, then return to his task of feeling up the girl who was practically lying in his lap. One finger brushed against her nipple - which was hardened both by the cold and by Anna's growing arousal. She stiffened, her back arching slightly.

"Oh, you like that, do you?" he purred, cupping her breast in his hand. She bit her lower lip anxiously as he continued fondling her. She was afraid to speak; maybe she'd start yelling at him, or burst into tears, or something equally embarrassing. Too many confused feelings were swirling around inside her. She'd never been alone with a man before, and she'd certainly never been touched like this. Suddenly she felt the desire to do much more - to try things that might not even be possible.

"We haven't experimented much with this area yet…" Kristoff said, breaking Anna out of her reverie. His fingers traced the seams of her bodice, following them down to her waist and then slipping between her legs. Two fingers slipped inside her now-dripping pussy, and his thumb happened to flick against her clit. Anna shrieked in surprised delight. Kristoff's gaze flickered to her face, contorted in pleasure. "Guess I found a sweet spot?" She nodded, still unable to speak. He returned to the task of exploration, occasionally remembering her clit or sliding his fingers in and out of her wet pussy.

Carefully, he settled his body over hers, keeping the rhythm of his fingers going at a steady pace inside her. Another digit joined the first two, and then they disappeared, leaving her with a feeling of emptiness.

Anna finally found her voice. "What are you-"

His mouth descended over hers, breaking off the sentence she'd barely had a chance to start, and she closed her eyes almost involuntarily. There in the sweet darkness of their embrace, she finally gave in, letting her body relax and her lips part to allow his tongue entrance. The swirling feelings instantly took over - so much so that she hardly even felt it when Kristoff entered her a moment later.

 **"So,** our little princess has grown up," Kristoff smiled, tracing the outline of Anna's cheek with a still-wet finger. The two of them lay together on the hay, her head resting on his chest as they looked up at the stars through a small hole in the roof of the shed.

"So has the boy who talks to reindeer," she giggled. She couldn't help teasing him, just a little bit.

After all - all women do it.


End file.
